Just like that. Rest there.
There's a turd on a chair in the lounge.
Excuse me?
Somebody shit on a chair.
Okay. First of all, it's "feces."
It's not "shit." It's not "turd."
There's a feces on a chair in the lounge.
Okay. I'm coming.
Show me where.
Birdy, did you have a bowel movement?
Did you go BM?
When?
Uh, about 15 minutes ago?
In that chair.
I don't think so.
Did you see someone maybe who did
make a BM?
No.
No?
I'll get a Kleenex and clean it up.
No no no, we have to file an incident report first.
Yes, hi.
May I please speak to Mrs. Sandy Sales?
It's Nurse Dawn Forchette.
Mount Palms, Long Beach.
It's regarding her sister Lilian.
No, I need to talk to her in person about this.
Can you just have her call me?
"Found a feces in a chair."
No. No.
The incident reports need to be really really specific.
Okay, what else should I put?
Well, for starters, it's not "a feces,"
it's just "feces."
But it wasn't a gang of them.
It was just one piece.
Yeah, but there's no singular form
for "feces."
It's not "fece" or "a feces."
It's just feces.
Who found it? Me.
When did they find it? I found it.
See, this is my name right here.
Technically, because it's a potential agent of infection,
we would have Environmental Services come down to collect it.
But the backlog is horrendous,
so I'm just gonna ahead and have you red-bag it.
If it'll make it quicker, I could just pick it up with a Kleenex,
wipe off the chair with some bleach. Boom. You can't.
That might be what you do at home,
but you cannot do that in the hospital.
There's just certain protocol. I'm glad somebody
enjoys working on a national holiday.
I'm completely over it.
What bed is she in?
109. That's the dead one?
The deceased party, yeah.
Long-term forms are not the same as third-party claims.
If their Medicare benefit runs out, Medicaid might cover it.
Yes, she is deceased.
Can you get me a death certificate?
Hi.
I'm-- I'm Denise.
Ortley. Didi.
It's my first day.
I'm giving Denise her orientation.
Oh, that's nice.
Welcome aboard.
I'm assuming respiratory arrest?
Mm-hmm.
You do know that there's a fecal deposit on that chair?
Um, yes. We are on top of that.
Is it mine?
Possibly. Possibly.
Is it one of mine for my fecal collection?
Uh, I'm not sure.
The Cleveland Conference next month
is fast approaching, Dawn. I didn't think you would want this one
because it was abandoned.
Well, it's a perfectly good sample.
It's good as any of the others.
But I've already instructed Denise to red-bag it.
Okay, what are the red bags?
Well, clearly she hasn't yet. Oh no, I can do it.
I just didn't know-- But I instructed it, and that's the protocol.
Dawn, no, I want it. What exactly is it you want me to do?
Excuse me. I want it put into a specimen cup
and sent to the lab-- Dr. James. No, I understand that,
but because of C. diff and infections,
I want to first positively identify whose it is.
Well, it's that patient sitting right across from it, no?
I don't think it's Birdy's.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Does it look like a fresh one of hers?
It's along the same... lines,
but she wears a diaper, and she can't take it off herself.
Look, there's no C. diff. It's well-formed.
There's no irregularity, so--
So I'll call the lab and have them...
pick it up for you. Yes, thank you.
You would do that for me?
You know what? Let me just move the chair out the way.
Careful of that. Don't squish that.
It's just really important that I have enough data
to make sure that my statistics are completely airtight.
Scientific method.
The deceased was 87.
I'm assuming from the cake. Yes. Mm-hmm.
Actually, today is her birthday, which means...
Ohh. ...she was born on the Fourth Of July.
Well, it looks delicious. I wonder if that's buttercream.
Her sister said it was double boiled.
She'll be coming down today.
Oh, that's a shame. Okay.
Can I get a copy of this, nurse?
Would you mind?
Thank you. Okay.
Uh, Dawn?
Just one other thing. I need that bed-- the deceased's.
I can't. It's already spoken for.
We have an Alzheimer's patient,
kind of burnt herself really badly.
You have anything else opening up?
Nothing. It's for a patient recovering from prostate surgery.
A man? Well, obviously.
Beverly will flip out if I give her bed away...
Well, we have to rehash this every single time
I want a bed.
None of these women are ever gonna know the difference
if there's a man on the floor.
Mrs. Robinson might--
Okay, what's the situation there?
She had shoulder surgery and is in rehab,
but the physical therapist said that she's progressing very nicely.
So maybe... Okay.
...next week she could-- Mrs. Robinson. I could take a look at her,
and then if all goes well,
Dawn, you will make sure that I get what I want.
Yes? Good good good.
Hello, fellas.
I'm sorry you're giving up your holidays,
but bonus points for diligence.
Glad to see you're finally with us, Mr. Cesario.
We have 36 beds on the floor.
14 sub-acute,
17 dementia and Alzheimer's.
The ventilator suite.
Hello, Irma. Como esta?
Know your population.
In Southern California, if it looks like a melanoma, it is a melanoma.
Save yourself the trouble, just cut it out.
Hello!
- I'm Dr. Jenna James. - How are you?
You know where you are? You're in the Billy Barnes Extended Care Unit.
Do you know what day it is?
She doesn't seem to speak much English.
This is Dr. James. She's our Director of Medicine.
Temporarily. I'm just filling in until they get someone permanent.
I'm actually a real doctor over at the hospital.
Do you have a chart? She actually doesn't have one.
She was an emergency admit last night.
Didi? The Long Beach PD picked her up
wandering along the shoulder of the 110 near San Pedro
in her nightgown? That's what they said.
It's increasingly common. So we actually don't know who she is.
I know she has a very high temperature.
She has a high temperature.
Her blood pressure is low.
Low blood pressure.
And she's confused.
Very confused.
I mean, we think it's confusion, but because of the language--
We really can't tell, so we're going to assume that she's confused.
Is it Chinese? Are you speaking Chinese?
Well, Chinese is not-- that's not a language, Dawn.
There are dozens and dozens of dialects and languages.
Indonesian maybe?
Are you speaking Indonesian?
- That's the same. - The same?
So ER is up and running. Just send her back over to the hospital.
We can't send a patient back over
until they've had a complete physical evaluation on them.
Patty? I think her name is Patty.
I think she's saying "paw-tea."
It sounds like "paw-tea."
But with her accent, I think what she's saying is Patty.
Well, I think Patty would be a pretty unlikely name for--
Is it Polly?
That's pretty much what I said. It's the same.
Well, I think for the moment we're going to assume that it's Polly.
So differential diagnosis.
Men, where do we start here?
What is that, Mr. Cesario? Is that a scalpel?
Uh, yes, ma'am. We had a lab this morning.
We don't wander around with sharp objects over here in Extended Care.
We're not the Crips and the Jets.
I'm just gonna have a little listen to your chest here, Polly.
She's gonna listen to your heart.
I can't hear anything with all the--
I really think, Dawn, you're going to have to call LanguageLine.
Okay, I will try, but I think with the holiday
they might not be in. But maybe in the interim,
we can give her something to help calm her down.
I think that's something that we could think about.
Are y'all really gonna sedate somebody
just 'cause they talking a little too much?
Nobody's saying anything about sedating.
No one's being sedated. No. That's not what we do here.
We don't dope up our patients just for our own convenience.
But she's just talking.
Yes, but the signs of distress, Denise,
are pretty clear.
And, you know, she's agitated.
So for her benefit, I think what we could do
is give her something to calm her down.
The point is that we're doing everything we can
in the best interest of the patient.
That's right. And the commode, please?
I'm not able to do a proper evaluation on you right now, Polly,
but we're gonna take very good care of you
and you're gonna be just as good as new.
Where do we go now?
Uh, Mrs. Drabinsky over here.
It's okay, pretty girl.
We are gonna get this all worked out.
They found me wandering on the 405 in my pajamas
after my brother's 50th.
Don't even ask me how I got there.
We gonna find out who you are, and everything's gonna be fine.
Okay?
She's just a hired staff doctor at the hospital,
which is how come they can make her fill in
and cover over here.
A crucifix and a rosary.
Oh, and save that cake for Sandy.
Poor thing went through a lot of trouble to make that.
She should get that back.
You really think she wants to eat her dead sister's birthday cake?
Why not? I would.
Her dentures.
Give me those. I gotta get them back in her mouth.
Thank you.
Take that.
She still has her original uppers.
She did pretty good for 87.
You know who got some good teeth
is all those Jacksons. All of them--
Really? Randy, La Toya, Rebbie.
My family has terrible teeth.
I read this.
The Menendez Brothers' "Bad Blood."
Wasn't that those cute boys that killed their daddy?
I like my father. Me too.
My mama-- that's a whole 'nother story.
Okay, you want to keep putting those drops in her eyes
until Antoine gets here. 'Cause she's a tissue donor, and if her eyes dry out,
the lab gets really really pissed off at us.
All right. That's it.
That's everything she came in with.
Hand me that cake.
I'm gonna go call Antoine.
Wait till you meet Antoine.
He's very nice on the eyes.
But I will tell you that sex with someone in the workplace
is a really really bad idea.
It's a big big "whoops, kitty."
Hey, Denise. How you doing? Hey, Beverly.
I'm hanging in there.
Denise, can you check on Mrs. Watley's catheter, please?
Yes. Thank you.
You know, we are still waiting on Antoine
to come pick up Lilian. Can you believe that?
Wow. I put the drops in her eyes like you asked me to.
But her eyeballs are getting kind of crunchy.
What is that?
Um, I'm not sure.
That might be for Dr. James' fecal study.
Excuse me? She said that she told you she's doing--
How long has that been sitting there?
Just a couple hours.
I did not-- No no no.
No, all we're doing-- You cannot let that woman talk you into--
We're just collecting. Turds?
All I'm doing with that particular sample right now
is I want to properly identify whose it is
before the lab picks it up.
Oh, for fuck's sake, Dawn.
We get an infections report with rampant C. diff,
we almost lost our fucking license.
Denise, could you get this out of my sight, please?
Right away? I tried to flush it,
but then we were told to leave it. No, now.
Maybe we should call Dr. James, Right now.
because she was very adamant that we--
And you, I cannot believe
how you suck up to her.
You know she's only nice to you
when she wants something from you.
She uses you for all her bullshit studies.
Do you understand that this hospital
is inches away from losing its Medicare reimbursement?
Shh!
What are you still standing there for?
Dawn, what is the one thing I've brought up to you again and again
and again in your assessments?
Floor cleanliness?
Well, I'm just saying. I'm sorry.
I'm really really sorry.
Just stop letting her push you around.
Learn to stand up for yourself.
Extended Care, first floor.
Okay. Dawn?
Yeah? It's the LanguageLine to translate.
Oh Jesus, thank God. Okay.
When can they come down? All right. Oh!
They said they can't send someone till tomorrow.
This cannot wait. We need to take care of this right now.
Do not let them off the phone.
See if maybe we can just tell them
what she's saying,
and then they can translate it for us.
We're gonna try to tell you what she's saying.
Okay.
He says that doesn't mean anything.
You gotta go up.
He says that doesn't mean anything either.
Okay. You know what? Put it on speakerphone.
Put it on speakerphone and then they can hear her directly.
Hold on one second. How do I do that?
Press "hold," and then "intercom," and then "line."
Hold what then what?
Whatever line. Just pick a line. How do I know which line?
Because it's blinking. You'll see it blinking.
What blink?
It's flashing in front of you, Denise.
Can you see it flashing? The whole phone is flashing.
I don't know how to work this old-ass phone.
Hold it up. Hold the phone up.
Hold it out as far as you can,
and then they'll hear what she's saying.
And tell them it's something Chinese-y.
We think it's something Chinese-y.
That's a good one. That's got to be something.
Did you get that?
Good.
He says she says, "I can't stand this.
I wish I was dead. Please kill me."
It's Khmer. She's Cambodian.
Cambodian. I knew it was something like that. Okay. Cambodian. Cambodian.
Note it in the file, please? Thank you. Cambodian. Cambodian.
Thank you so much. What's your name?
You've got to do the breathing, honey.
I can't do that for you. Breathe. Dawn.
Dawn? Come on. There you go.
Oh. Okay. I'll be right back.
Good afternoon, Mrs. Robinson.
Koo-koo-ca-choo.
That's "I am the Walrus."
What?
No, just a joke.
How are we feeling today?
I just really really want to go home.
Believe me, we want you out and back in your own home too.
So going over the results here of your scans,
it looks like your shoulder's responding very well.
The physical therapist said she wouldn't let me go
until I could raise my arm. Yeah, I read her report,
and I definitely need to consult with her.
She said if I left, it would be against medical advice and--
Well, is she a doctor? No, I'm a doctor.
Well, is there someone that could help you once you got home?
Maybe your children? Look, I can do well on my own.
I'm very independent. Well, we certainly know that many patients
recover more quickly once they're in their familiar surroundings.
I just think that we might have a liability issue.
Well, Dawn, of course. If she can't reach her hand--
That's why we're called upon to make a judgment.
I've never felt better in my life.
Well, here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.
And if more of our patients had that kind of can-do attitude,
what would we doctors do for a living?
So you'll do the paperwork, Dawn? Thank you much. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Appreciate that. And I need the bed right away,
so make it a priority.
Okay.
Dr. Rabaldi, he was a great Director of Medicine.
He was really handsome too.
He got shit-canned over the bad infections report,
and then they've been interviewing for that position
for like three months.
Everyone says that we're dragging the rest of the medical center down,
which we're not.
Plus people say that Extended Care is boring,
which it is not.
It is totally where the action is.
We could use some testosterone in this unit, though.
I'll tell you that.
So why did you get into nursing?
What did you do before?
It's a long story.
Ah, yak yak yak yak yak.
I talk too much.
Nuh-uh. No no.
Me and my husband-- It takes a little getting used to.
I mean, I cried like every day on the way home from work
my first two months.
For what?
I don't know.
'Cause I take my job really seriously.
You know.
I mean, maybe I care too much.
'Cause there's nothing more important to me
than taking care of these women here.
You know, these elderly women who are alone
and have no one else and are entrusted to my care.
And...
We work just as hard as anyone in that hospital over there.
Maybe even 10 times as hard.
You know, I've almost been fired twice
for cleanliness infractions.
See? We got up here pretty fast.
Mm-hmm. Hmm? I told you.
It's the little back elevator.
It's my little secret.
I am going to park you right here, okay?
Be right back. This is patient Nelson, Judy.
Birth date: 4-13-34.
And Judy is looking fine to me.
What is she doing here, Antoine?
I don't have any beds.
Beverly saw that room 106 was open.
She told me to bring her up here. Oh no no no no no.
No, big miscommunication. What?
106 is not-- it's not open. It's for Dr. James.
But I was told to bring her up to 106,
so you ladies gotta get your shit together.
Hi, Judy. I'm Dawn,
and we are gonna work this out.
Everything's gonna be just fine, okay?
These are beautiful.
You need to take these off the floor right now. What?
We can't have these here anymore.
Patients try to eat them. 106 is ready.
Thank you. Oh, great.
No no, not great for you. No, it is taken.
Dawn?
Is my room ready?
Um, yes.
But apparently, this patient is taking 106.
Okay, that's fine. But my patient is just out of recovery
and has a very time-sensitive questionnaire to go over.
So why don't settle him in the room,
and then you can situate her in 106? No no no, your room is 106.
Well, that's impossible. Why does she need a private room?
I don't know. Jenna. I hear you've been very busy.
Yeah yeah, it's a holiday and I like to keep busy
when everybody else is having a day off.
Yeah. Well, to answer your question,
she has to go into the private
because we're monitoring her heart.
Yeah, but I specifically requested the bed.
She came into the hospital for surgery
and had a stroke on the operating table.
Her heart hasn't stabilized,
so she's going into that room.
No. So we should just take her then?
No-- well, no no. Go ahead.
Beverly. No no no, Beverly.
No, Beverly, no. You can monitor her heart... Whoa! Whoa!
from the hospital, Beverly.
That's my bed. You're not taking my bed, darn it.
You do not own this floor, Jenna.
So you don't get to waltz in here
and do your studies for drug companies or turd companies or whatever.
Well, it's really none of your business
how many studies I do
or what I do my resear...
What happened to the feces?
I flushed it down the toilet. You flushed it down--
She flushed it at my instruction.
Flushed away an important lump of information.
Jenna, please, are you finished? No, I'm not finished.
Then let's just move this right on off my floor.
Do you have any idea what the Bristol Stool Chart is?
No, ma'am, I do not.
Okay, I'm attempting to expand the Bristol Stool Chart
from seven to an exhaustive...
16. ...16 different types of patient feces.
This is the 21st fucking century.
Does anyone here actually believe
that there are still only seven categories of stool?
Whoa, okay. I was told to flush it,
so I flushed it-- Well, and I need to stress
that this work is important to me
and to the prestige of this whole medical center.
And if I say I need a stool sample
put in a specimen cup, sent to the lab--
Beverly told me to flush it. Dawn told me to flush it.
I don't care who said what!
I'm telling you to...
Save your shit.
Yes, if you need to say it like that.
I got it. I understand.
Thank you. From now on, I will do that.
I will even save my shit for you.
- All right, well, that's lovely. - That is really lovely.
I am just sick of you using me and Dawn
and this entire facility-- I'm fine with it.
Beverly, you are not my supervising nurse
and you cannot speak to a doctor at this hospital that way.
You are on staff at this hospital,
and right now you are in my facility.
Yes. I run back and forth.
I run back and forth from dusk to dawn--
40 of the last 48 hours--
and I could be at a luau in Maui right now,
but no, I work tirelessly. I work on the holidays.
And in exchange, maybe just a little bit of respect.
You know why nobody's taking this shitty job? Because it's a dead end.
Because nobody with any self-respect
or their career still on the rails
would ever want to work over here in this dump.
So you know what? I don't care!
I don't care
anymore!
Oh, Paul. Jenna?
Oh, I thought you'd never get here. Hi.
They won't even let me go out for a coffee.
Can you believe that?
I'd ask you to sit down,
but this awful claustrophobic office--
it's a good thing it's only temporary.
I'd rather die.
Well, um...
as you might guess, people are still talking
about that little dust up.
A bad joke at the end of a long shift,
but those fireworks are over, I swear.
Well, when we heard about it over at the hospital,
there was obvious concern for you, of course.
Paul, it was just a little dramatic gesture.
Just... gallows humor.
Threatening everyone in the ward with a scalpel?
I did not. Such ridiculousness.
And if by chance it was construed that I did--
you know me-- it was with tongue
very much in cheek.
Well, we reviewed the tapes just to make sure,
and nobody saw a screaming lunatic
threatening life and limb.
That's so good to hear.
You're my only ally on the whole committee, Paul.
Oh.
You might have put the scalpel back in your pocket in a more direct fashion.
Yes. That I could have done.
But really,
what we saw was...
just a sad, lonely, exhausted woman at the end of her rope...
Thank you. ...on a neglected ward
in desperate need of full-time supervision.
Oh, Paul. The equipment over here
is the-- and worst nurses in the world.
A ward that nobody knows as well as she does.
What are you saying?
Me, here?
Yeah.
Full-time? Yes.
No. Full-time.
Oh-- oh no. No, Paul.
No, the board would never ask that of me.
That's not fair.
It's all the Beverly woman.
Paul, the way she talks to me--
and I've heard her speak the same way to you, too. Jenna.
Help me to help you.
All right?
There's no reason we can't kill two birds with one stone.
We both only want what's best for Mount Palms.
How you doing over there?
I'm all done, honey.
Okay.
Hey. How about a piece of cake?
I can't get Sandy, so what the heck.
Why don't we celebrate? It's still the Fourth
and still your first day.
Okay.
Let me just get finished with this first.
Can you stand?
I can, but I get dizzy.
Okay. Put your hand on the rail,
hold on right here
and let's pull yourself up.
Okay. There we go.
Okay. Bend over.
Lean forward just a little bit.
Okay. Clean as a whistle
and ready for bed.
Honey,
can you help me find my purse?
I need my keys.
I need to go to the office.
Yes, ma'am.
Let's get you to the office.
There we go.
All right, Miss Birdy.
Oh God.
Mm.
Sandy, hi.
Hello. Hello.
Bye, ladies.
Thank you so much for coming in.
I got your message.
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about your sister.
Would you like to sit down?
No. Beverly?
Beverly. Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
That crazy white bitch had my ass transferred out of here.
What?
To where?
The hormone center.
Sorry.
Anyway, you've been a great friend.
Good nurse. Bye. Just-- Beverly. Beverly.
Beverly.
I'm so sorry.
So sorry. It's okay.
Um...
I wanted to tell you that your sister Lilian
passed away this morning.
She's dead?
Would you like to see her?
Or hold her?
I can make arrangements.
Thank you.
Okay. That would be good.
Okay, I have a partially filled out death certificate
that you need to take to the funeral home.
Do you have a funeral home in mind?
No.
I didn't think it was gonna happen so fast.
My baby sister.
I was with her when she died.
You were? Mm-hmm.
I was holding her hand.
Did she ask about me?
Yes.
She did. She...
said she loved you very much.
Sandy, I'm-- I'm Didi.
Can I get you anything? You want a glass of water?
Would you like some water?
Yes. Water would be nice.
Thank you. No problem.
Thanks so much, Didi.
♪ Fill your heart with love today ♪
♪ Don't play the game of time ♪
♪ Things that happened in the past ♪
♪ Only happened in your mind ♪
♪ Only in your mind ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ Forget your mind ♪
♪ And you'll be free ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh, happiness is happening ♪
♪ Dragons have been bled ♪
♪ Gentleness is everywhere ♪
♪ And fear is just in your head ♪
♪ Only in your head ♪
♪ Fear is in your head, only in your head ♪
♪ So forget your head ♪
♪ And you'll be free ♪
♪ Yeah, the writing was on the wall ♪
♪ Free, yeah ♪
♪ And can know it all if you choose ♪
♪ Just remember lovers never lose ♪
♪ 'Cause they are free, yeah. ♪